STANDING IN AWE OF GOD

On May 30, 2006 Jerry wrote this journal entry, chosen for my use today.  "They were broken off because of their unbelief, but you stand only through your faith, so do not become proud, but stand in awe."(Romans 11:20) Paul, here , is using the metaphor of an olive tree to signify God's plan for Israel.  Some of the tree's natural branches are like the Jews who would not accept Jesus, so they have been snapped off.  Therefore, there is room for believing Gentiles which are like wild olive tree branches now drafted onto the pure olive tree trunk.


"God's call to the Israelites is un-revocable.  But, Jesus being the Messiah, is not acceptable to all Jews.  In their place, we Gentiles who accept Jesus as the Son of God become the adopted children of God, and receive all of God's promises.  Yet, we are never to be proud or haughty of having been adopted as Children of God who receive life eternal and the forgiveness of sin.  We who have received this freely given gift of God's grace can only fall to our knees or stand  in awe of God's mighty gift.


"I stand in awe that God would call me, a sinner, cut off from Him, to be a part of His Kingdom.  Lord God, in humility and awe I stand ready to  proclaim you to all.  Use me as you will.  Amen"


I truly believe that this is the attitude and the opportunity we must have and must use in this time and place in the world. Perhaps the time is growing shorter for some of us, but many who read this in the future will still have the opportunity to belong to the fellowship of believers. I know God would and will say, "Welcome to my world!"


With trust that my words will be welcome,
Jo INMN

SPEAK LORD, YOUR SERVANT LISTENS

May 29, 2006, Jo chose to write about the Word from Romans 10:15, and it became part of our journal.  "Before you trust, you have to listen.  But unless Christ's Word is preached, there's nothing to listen to."


"A recent word was said to me that hit home.  "The reason you have not been able to change the characteristic impulse to give an angry response to  certain statements that bug you is that you get some pay-off of some kind that you don't want to give up." I had hated my usual angry responses as they  broadcast my lack of maturity and unforgiving spirit.


"I was astounded, but knew the words rang true. Something within me didn't want to change  because I needed it the way it was.  Deep, I thought, almost too deep for me to understand.  But, my problem
solving mind said, "O.K. What do I do about it?"  The answer was, "Find the payoff!"  And I knew it made sense in a kind of corrupted sort of way.


"My first step was to pray.  "God, show me what it is that my  unconscious mind does not want to give up." And now, (and even still later) I am in process, waiting for understanding.  I am convinced it will come, and in the meantime, I'm backing off from areas of work that may bring more conflict.  I'm happy and relieved, as I write this last paragraph almost a year later. (And now 10 yrs. later.)


"The words spoken to me were said with tough love, and I will always be grateful that person chose to take the risk and tell me a truth no one else had ever been willing to do. Then I prayed, 'God I will need you once again, and again, and again.  I trust your love.  May I once more listen and hear your voice.  Amen.'"


Now, ten years later, I cannot say the problem is entirely solved. But, God has shown me that in my early childhood, it was instilled in me that naughty things were  bad, and  the question, "You don't want to be a bad girl, do you?" came very often in my early existence.  My poor mother was left with a nosy little girl riding around the grocery store in a kiddie car while roped to a pole in the middle of the small room.  The potatoes in  their bins were just our of reach, and other temptations out of reach as well. Too many temptations for that baby and this busy mom tried to keep her child from making messes all over the floor.  My father was gone all week from the store, barbering in Chicago, IL, a state away.  What was a mommy to do? But, perhaps what needed to be done, also did some bit of harm by encouraging a child to grow up fearing to  make mistakes.


So, I think knowing this lets me forgive, forgive myself and also my incredibly busy and loving mother. It has helped me to understand what fear can do, and when I hear someone criticize me, the fear attacks."You are screwing up again!" Yes, perhaps I will.  But perhaps it can be re-done in a better way!  Today, I pray that my fear does not bring anger before my good sense tells me, "Fear? Phooey! Anger?  Go away! Thanks, Lord Jesus!"


And I pray for you, too, that you may not be troubled in any way by fear or anger because your Lord is right there pulling for you!


Jo INMN

RIGHTEOUSNESS...FROM GOD

On May 28, 2004, Jerry wrote, "Gentiles who did not strive for righteousness have attained righteousness by faith, but Israel, who strove for righteousness based on the Law, did not succeed in fulfilling the Law, and because they did not strive for righteousness on the basis of faith, they have stumbled over the cornerstone of God's purpose for us."


"Wisdom from God comes only by faith in God and not our own efforts.  This is true also of righteousness.   God's people  of Israel  tried to achieve righteousness by obeying the Law, but the Law was impossible to completely obey.  Gentiles, on the other hand, had no business with the law, so  they received righteousness through faith.  It is through faith alone that we are made right with God, not by just following the old law and rules that had been set down.  These we can never humanly achieve, as we were born in a world of sin.


"My faith must be in God alone.  Only from God may I receive wisdom, knowledge, prudence, and discretion or any other gift that only God can give and that is through being 'right with God.'"  Thank you, God, for sending Jesus into the world so that all people might have the forgiveness of sins and the position of being made right with you.  Amen."


We cannot do anything extra in order to be made right with Jesus.  All we must do is to trust that He is part of the Personhood of God, being called God's Son, and that He died for your sins and mine, and that He is to be called holy, for because of Him we have been made right with God.


And for this, we thank you, Lord Jesus, for making us aware of the rightness of God and not of ourselves.


Jo INMN

WHAT'S UP, PAPA?

May 27, 2005, I found a scripture that caught not only my eye, but caught my heart. From scripture, Romans 8:15, it says, "The resurrection life I received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life.  Its adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike, 'What's next, Papa?'"(THE MESSAGE)




(Keeping in mind I was already in my 70's then, I loved the common words used in that particular bible version as it brought me back to my own childhood when I was hungry for the Jesus that I knew so little of.)  And this  particular verse said to me, "Yes!  This is exactly what I want to be when I finally grow up! Like right now!  Someone who looks to God for every step I take in my life."




"Well, maybe it's crazy to want to grow up when I'm already past seventy, but it's never too late, is it?  I want to be someone who looks to God for every step I may take in my life. But there are those awful moments when old feelings seem to be in charge.  They have been in charge for so long, so I must work hard to develop a new habit that, I hope, will do away with the old one which always said,  "You are not good enough!  You need to be perfect for God to love you."  No.  That is not what God says.  He knows I am not perfect, and He doesn't expect that.  He wants me to know when I've done wrong and be sorry about it, telling Him about it, and then trying hard to listen to His Spirit so that it doesn't happen again.




"Lord, whatever feelings I may have, helpful or not,  I  pray that I can refrain from reacting to them without first saying, "What's next, Papa?"




I don't have much to add, but now when my last birthday celebrated found me in my 80's, I find that I am a slow learner, but I am not disappointed, for I have seen a change, although it is a slight change, it is in the proper direction!  And I believe God loves my hopefulness!




Lord, I pray that I may yet learn to say, "What's next, Papa?" about my children's lives as well as my own. We are a long time learning, aren't we?


Loving all of you out there,
Jo INMN

RESCUED!

On May 26, 2006, Jerry chose to write in his journal from Romans 7:24,25, "Wretched man that I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Christ Jesus our Lord!"


He continued, "In this chapter of Romans, Paul tells of the constant struggle between his seeking to be a Godly man, yet recognizing the power of flesh in himself that takes him to a place where he does the very thing he doesn't want to do! He declares that only through the saving grace of Jesus Christ can we humans be victorious.  We are unable on our own strength and skill to claim victory.  Jesus died and rose again to guarantee he would rescue us from the power of our own sin.


"Jesus Christ alone, not me, brings victory over temptations  in my life.  Jesus is my rescuer--by His shed blood he throws me a live-saving ring to cling to when I finally realize I can't do it on my own.


"Praise God who rescues me from temptation through His Son, Jesus Christ.  Amen."


Jerry is a really good man. There is little that I saw when we met and even after five years of dating that needed "work."  But I knew when he was tempted by something, and I knew who he went to for help. Jerry helped me to discover where he got his power for goodness and I tried to remember the power of Jesus Christ as I attempted to eradicate my own flaws and change them to kindnesses.  I try to remember to whisper the name of "Jesus" when I catch myself about to play the "blame and shame" game. I'm not too proud to admit that I am still working hard at it. Jesus does rescue us, but the work is still ours to do, and to continue to do as long as it is needed.


We  humans, some with the help of our Lord, others fighting the fight alone, find ourselves hoping to live without sin.  It is fortunate for all that God knows us so well, and that we shall always meet sin on our walk through life.  I praise God that, should I ask, He will rescue me from those temptations through His Son, Jesus Christ.


Will He travel on your path, as well?  He will, if you ask Him to.
Jo INMN

ABOUND IN HOPE

Today is Memorial Day and at three o'clock today, our people in the church to which we belong are going to all pray for the families of those who lost a loved one at any of the many wars we have had during our lifetimes or for those in our history.  War is a terrible thing, but there have been wars since the beginning of time.  Remember Cain?  He started it all when he killed his brother, Abel, because God liked Abel's heart and Abel's gift to God the best.  Jealousy of  one man  or  one country for another will bring a war about every time. So, here we are, on the day when we recognize the tragedy of war, its bravery and its sadness. And we remember the heros of war and feel honored that we knew them.  Jerry wrote in early June, 2006 from Romans 15:13, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." And he continued:


"Paul wants those he writes to and for us today to be always filled with joy and peace because we know Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior.  How could we ever feel down or afraid with such a wondrous gift?  Even though none of us knows from day to day how things will work out, or if we even will be alive tomorrow, we can always abound in Hope because we know Jesus as our Savior.


"How can I ever worry about tomorrow when Jesus walks with me?  I can only have a heart that leaps with Joy and Peace, and is always filled, abounding with Hope!


"Lord God, You've given me this miraculous gift of joy and peace that I might always be full of hope, in order to encourage others that have "no hope" at all.  Thank You.  Amen"


To all the young men and women who are anticipating becoming part of our nation's Armed Forces in the future, I pray that you will take the Lord's gift of Himself in your heart, and discover the joy, the peace, and the assurance of His love during your time serving our country and in the days that follow.


Our hearts sing with hope for each of you, and also for your families.
Jo INMN

THERE IS NONE LIKE YOU!

This journal piece was written May fifth back in 2005 but was selected for May 23's reading in the book made for our families. For no particular reason then, it suits today, as I look out at our bird-feeder and hunger to see an Oriole.  When this journal entry was originally written, we lived in Arizona, and had a yard-full of exquisite, small parrot-like birds, so beautiful and green and they all came daily, at  one time, together like a big  family.  It was wonderful! The entry follows:


"All morning the song, "There is None Like You" has been running through my head.   I took a few minutes of silent time this morning and watched the tiny, green parrot-like birds in the pine tree as they squeaked to each other. They sound more like mice than birds!  I can't find them in any bird book, so I suspect they began with a pair of birds that escaped their cage. They are special, unforgettable. There is nothing like them.  That's when I started singing, "There is none like you, no one else can love me like you do." No.  And there is no one like God, either.


"Then, I thought, 'And there is no one like me, either; no one in this world is exactly like me.  There are a lot of birds, but no other tiny parrot-birds.  There are a lot of humans, but no one else exactly like me.  God created and God loved.  Why?


There is nothing--no other god, no person, nothing  else----like my God, our God, for God is the beginning of each and all of us, the substance of us, the whole of us, our entirety, our completion, our very being.  We are all God's people and God-people.  The Holy Spirit sees to all of this. I just get to enjoy...and believe!  Thanks be to God!"


And I pray for your perfect peace and your full acceptance of these words, this truth.


Loving all! Join me in the great privilege of belonging to God!'
Jo INMN

FORGIVENESS OF SIN THROUGH CHRIST

Today, I am using Jerry's journal for May 22, 2005 which is titled JUSTIFIED BY FAITH, from ROMANS 3:23,28.  The book of Romans was written by the Apostle Paul while pastoring a ring of churches in the east.   He deals in this passage with the sins of the world that confronts us all.  "All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace..... For we hold that a person is justified by faith alone apart from works as prescribed in the Law."


"Paul boldly declares that those who are Jews like himself have no advantage over Gentiles, for all have sinned in God's eyes.  Therefore there is no way through our own efforts of "doing the right thing" that we can be made right with God.  The only way we are justified (found righteous in God's eyes with our sins forgiven) is through faith in Jesus Christ who gave himself once and for all as a permanent sacrifice on the cross.   Only when we boldly proclaim "Jesus Christ is Lord" can we become clean like fresh fallen snow.


"My faith that Jesus is the Christ is all I need to have the assurance of being made right with God.
Lord Jesus, Praise be to you for this most magnificent of all gifts--we are justified by faith alone.  Amen."


I love this declaration of my husband.  What a gift to me!  A righteous man!  We have now been married for 61 years.  His faith has been a gift to me for all of those years, and I am still being blessed by it.  Thank you, God for your goodness and for his righteousness.


And I thank God for each of you, and for whatever year you may be reading this. God is ever faithful and good, and His mercy endures forever.


Jo INMN

WHEN POINTING MY FINGER.....

On May 21, 2005, I wrote in my journal about judging others.  In Romans 2:1, it says, "When you judge others, you condemn yourselves, because you are guilty of doing the very same things."


"And I said, "Yes!  I know this to be true, because you cannot see in others what you yourself have not experienced. You cannot recognize today what you have not known personally yesterday. Another way to put it is, If I did not experience wanting to be in control of a situation myself, I would not recognize controlling from someone else. I would know what it is that I see, because it is in me.


"This might be argued, I suppose, if a friend is unfaithful to her husband, for example.  You might know that it is wrong even although you have not been unfaithful to your own husband. Yet we can recognize temptation of any kind, having been tempted ourselves in some way. so we have compassion for one who has been tempted and for the one hurt by the other's temptation.


"Either way, Judging is wrong.  If we discern another either being tempted or having been hurt by someone who was tempted, we can find compassion for them.  But to judge them would be wrong.  If we discern some action in another, own it yourself  in a quiet conversation and offer to help.  The difference between discernment and judging is the attitude we bring to it."


"Lord, teach me how to discern, to be truthful and helpful without judging.  Amen."


Today, I still know this to be true: we cannot claim someone else has a fault unless we ourselves have personally known it.  "It takes one to know one," the old adage, is definitely true.


Just think that we are all in this life together where loving others like Jesus did is virtually unknown.  What was written about today is only one way to love another.  Yet, it would definitely be remembered and recorded in someone's unconscious brain cells!


Loving someone is always made note of,
Jo INMN

BECOME MUTUALLY ENCOURAGED

May 20, 2006, Jerry wrote on Romans 2:12 which says, "I long to see you that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith." Once again, the scripture encourages each of us to have companions in Christ.


"Paul, in writing to the Christians in Rome, tells of his longing to come to Rome to  preach and teach and be mutually encouraged.  This is God's  plan for His church on earth that we meet together and mutually encourage and build one another up in the faith.  When a piece of charcoal is removed from the heat of the fire, it will soon cool off and become cold.  In like manner, gathering together to praise God keeps the fire in Christians burning brightly for the world to see.


"Without other Christians, my faith walk would be much harder. In contact and fellowship with others, my faith is built up and I'm encouraged. Lord Jesus, Keep us meeting together to mutually encourage one another that others might see the warm glow of your love.  Amen"


Can you see the advantage of Christians today versus the people in the Old Testament who did not have the Word of God written in stories and verse?  They only had their own memories to  remind them of their Holy God, and at the same time there were so many others who believed only in their little gods and superstitions. Yet, today the world has lots of other things that the masses enjoy and trust, primarily their earning power and accumulation of money, things, and experiences to brag about.


We are not without our own desires for funds that will equip our families, good jobs, educations, and things to ease our life, and loving people around us, both friends and families.  We are not blameless.  But, we do recognize that God asks us to show we are sorry. And after repentance, and accepting forgiveness, we desire peace and joy.  God can give us peace; but he also asks for obedience.  God can give us joy, also; but He also requires us to trust Him through difficulties.  Our hardest task is to trust God when things seem to go haywire. But trust, we must.  And in the tougher moments, we can go to our Christian friends and ask that they pray for our continued desire to trust and obey.


I hope you have a Christian friend.  I am praying, right now, that you might find a Christian friend, as you seek to understand the privilege of knowing Christ and living in His Way.


God bless you!
Jo INMN

THE TEMPLE WITHIN

On May 19, 2005 Jo wrote about a temple that is made within each of us.  In 2 Chr. 2:5,6 it says, "This will be a great temple, because our God is greater than all other gods.   No one can ever build a temple large enough for God--even the heavens are too small a place for God to live in!  All I can do is build a place where we can offer sacrifices to God." David made al the arrangements, but his son, Solomon, built the temple, and it was a grand place.


Some of us in these New Testament times have been part of "building a new temple." Churches of denomination after denomination have built their temples.  And this seemed necessary for many people could not agree on the little things that differed in "how we chose to show our beliefs."  I find this a pity, and many might agree, yet, even in Biblical times, people often disagreed on small matters. We are a determined bunch, trying to get our own way.  (I wonder if God is sad about this!)  Yet, in one way we all agree, and that is that Jesus is the Son and only a part of God.  For our God is One, but appears as if He is three persons:  He is the Father, He is the Son, and He is the Holy Spirit. In a simpler way,  I am a Parent, a Wife, and a Woman. I am all three, as is our God.  But He is The Holy Three.


But the churches we build in which to have our worship together, is as nothing compared to the "temples" in our own individual persons.  Yes, each of us have a temple within us.  And the sacrifices we make in our "temple" will be our individual gifts to God.  Then as we meet together in our agreed temple we will have a celebration of those individual sacrifices, those precious events that made us One with God.  Coming together, loving one another, showing our love for God and each other, by forgiving, encouraging,and helping one another makes us one with each other.  Yes, the temples within each of us come together to our mutual "temple" to celebrate and praise our God.  Alleluia!


Dear God, let it be so.  Amen


Jo INMN

GOD'S CHOSEN

Writing on a similar day in May, 2005, Jerry chose to write about why God chose you and me for salvation even though the Jewish people had long been his chosen people , as recorded in the Old Testament. But  in the New Testament, in 2 Thessalonica 12, verse 13b, it reads: "God chose you as the first fruits for salvation through sanctification (cleansing) by the Spirit and through belief in the truth of Christ." Below is Jerry's writing.


"Paul tells the believers in Thessalonica that because of their belief and faith, God sanctified (set them apart) through the Holy Spirit.  The key ingredient here is "belief."  We have to choose to believe in the Gospel of Jesus Christ by a yielding of  our will. (Not by saying, I don't understand, therefore I won't believe. NO! But rather, although I don't yet understand, I do believe Christ is the Son of God and I want to be part of His family.)  Once this step has been taken, we can open the door and behold!  The risen Christ is waiting to come into our whole person!


"Jesus said, "Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if you open the door and invite me in, I will come in and make you a new creation!"  What greater gift than this could I ever seek after?  But first, I must choose to become one of God's Chosen. He is waiting, for you have been chosen to be HIs.


"Lord Jesus, I give you praise that you chose me!  Amen"


This step is crucial to becoming One with Jesus and One with His Spirit. When you have opened the door to God, you will be hungry for all things that are His.


Believe it! Because God loves you.  Me, too!


Jo INMN

WHO'S AFRAID OF THE POWER OF GOD?

God is not the big, bad wolf but some people act as if He is.  And I guess that is why I wrote this journal entry back in January, 2004, from the reading of Luke 4:32 and 34.  "His teaching amazed (the people) because He spoke with power.." (And the man with an evil spirit said,) "Hey! Jesus of Nazareth!  What do you want with us?  Are you here to get rid of us?  I know who you are! You are God's Holy One!"


Most of the people were amazed at Jesus'  speaking power, but this man with an evil spirit knew why Jesuswas so powerful.  He was God's Holy One.  this man made no bones about it.  Jesus was the Holy One.  This man only voiced his fear, "What do you want with us? To get rid of us?"  other people were amazed with Jesus,yet they voiced no fear.  They probably did have fear.  They may have thought, "This Jesus speaks with power and authority, heals the sick and raises the dead.  What must He want of me?" Isn't that why we, too, sometimes feel fear around talk about Jesus? What would Jesus ask of me?


Well, Jesus will ask something of us! He will ask for everything, but by the time He asks it of us, we are willing to give it out of the love and grace he gives us day after day, after day.


God, help me to always desire to ask you in love, "Jesus, what do you want of me today? I am yours.  Do with me as you like!" Amen.

MAKE WAY !

From Jan. 3,  2005, Jo's Journal:  Based on the scripture of Luke 3: 4-6, which tells of John the Baptist who began to preach around the countryside that someone was coming, someone very important to the world, Jesus, the Christ. He declared, "Get the road ready for the Lord!  Make a straight path for him. Fill up every valley and level every mountain and hill.  Straighten the crooked paths and smooth out the rough roads.  Then everyone will see the saving power of God."


What does this verse mean to me?  "Get the road ready" means preparing myself each day for Christ's appearance in my body, mind and spirit.  How?  By centering on Christ early in the day. "Go in a straight path" to Christ's side and let myself be nurtured and loved in Christ's strength and power.  "Fill up the valley" means being positive and trusting God to replenish the areas in my life that are depressed or wanting.  "Level every mountain" means no problem or attitude is too difficult for God to make into a more accessible "route," for hope and strength come from God.  "Straighten the crooked paths" means stop indulging myself with those easy side-steps.  Go straight toward your mark.  "Smooth out the rough roads" means whatever about me is rough for others to handle can be softened and soothed by my adding love and acceptance to all my conversations.


 Isaiah, in the old testament testified that John would come and remind the people that Jesus would come.  He spoke about John, and John speaks to each of us. And it was all about Jesus!


Lord, help me to see myself as an extension of Jesus and to make the path to you more accessible to others by your Grace in my life.  Amen


Hope you dig it! Isaiah about John; John about Jesus,; Jesus about ourselves; and me to you!


Loving each of us and them,
Jo INMN

TOO HARD!

I have decided to use in my daily blog some of the journal entries made by my husband, Jerry and myself which we put together over the years for our children.  Getting the use of my computer daily is not a hardship, nor is writing something new, but it seems a waste to not use some rather great thoughts already written.  Below is the first written by Jerry Johnson circa 2004.


From Genesis 4:13:  "Cain said to the Lord, "My punishment is greater than I can bear." ( Cain had killed his own brother, Abel.  Cain was angry because Abel's gift to God won favor from God where Cain's did not, and he killed Abel in his anger. So, God said Cain was to be driven from the land because he killed Abel and be hidden from God's presence, and to be a restless wanderer  on the earth.  So when Cain received this punishment, he expressed terrible disappointment.)


"Response: Titled "Too Hard!"  When we sin against God and disobey His commandments, we often fail to "count the cost."  We do in a moment's time something that will have lifelong and eternal consequences.  When we're "called on the carpet" by God or man's law, we whine and moan and groan and cry out, "This punishment is too hard; it is more than I can bear!  Relieve my suffering, Lord; I can't stand this!"


"When I err, I must understand and accept that there will be  consequences to pay, even though as I repent I know God will forgive me. It doesn't remove the consequences, however, which are often played out in our lives here on earth.


"Lord God, Help me keep my eyes on you, that I can avoid the sins and errors of this life.  AMEN"


I hope you enjoyed our shorter form of encouragement.  God bless you, each one, and perhaps you might like to start your own journal!


Prayerfully,
Jo INMN

AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE

Hi, Everyone! I have decided to make a change in what I write about.  My study of the Bible has not changed, but I need to write abut something that might be fun and helpful to all of us.  And I'd like to tell you what brought this change about.  When we moved in July of 2013 to MN, I had been reading and studying the Bible for a loooooong time!  And thought I would continue my reading/writing about whatever came next in the Word.  But as we are considering another possible move sometime within the next two years, we began to go through the various boxes that needed even more weeding out of unnecessary "stuff" so we would be ready when the time came and have less to push around or try to find a space in which to put it...again.  It is going rather slowly, but we are being seriously stern about what to keep and what to throw.  We had too many boxes labeled "Jo's memories."


So far, I have found three generations of fancy plates, (no one hangs them on the wall anymore.), two prom dresses, wrinkled, but still lovely, and volumes of unpublished stories, and other assorted writings. Plus a few special poetry magazines that did have a poem or two with my name.  But one small volume almost leapt right up  into my hands, and we will use it here, or rather the likes of it. It is a Gratitude Journal (dated Jan. 26, 1998) and it has this written on the fly cover:  "Gratitude is the Heart's Memory. Write down five things daily for which I am grateful for on that day." And I suggest you do this as well, each day.  And I will do the same, but I will also write the five things I was grateful for back in 1998.  Have fun!  And look into your heart for your memory!


1998, Jan 26.  1) I am grateful to be beginning this prayer journal. 2) I am grateful that I can watch Jerry...still alive...breathing in and out..... as he lies in the sun on our patio. (He had just had a severe heart attack before we left MN for AZ) 3) I am grateful for the warmth of the sun as I write.
4) I am grateful  to be in a Bible Study and for my friends within it. 5) I am truly grateful to God for His love and acceptance.


2015, May 13.   1)I am so thankful that I found this old book in my memory boxes. 2) I am thankful that our daughter, Peggy, was able to be with us for the past two days. 3) I am thankful that we have a nice home and are still able to live here without too much help. 4) I am grateful for the recent Mother's Day celebration which brought all our kids around us.  5) I am truly grateful for God's love and acceptance.


Now, I had my turn.  How about you?  Again, Gratitude is the Heart's Memory. And I got to share mine with you, so, I hope you can share yours with someone, too.


Be back tomorrow! 
Fondly,  Jo
              INMN

WHY DID WE SAVE ALL THIS STUFF, ANYWAY?

Somehow we were served up an extra day.  Well, that is not exactly true, but we do seem to have time that we didn't expect.  Facing the possibility that we should be called and told that we can make a move to a retirement community, we decided we cannot make a move to another place without going through our "stuff" with a fine-toothed comb.  Remember,now, we had already done this once when we left Phoenix, but we still have way too much "stuff!"


Old slides, now on CD disks, take up a lot of room.  Hey? Does anyone want them?  We'll see. My daughter does want her baby dress, made by my mother, to put in a frame. Rah! Rah! And I have scads of notes from one lecture and another which I saved as those lectures were so good, and I had time NOW to study them fully. (That never happened.)


Two gowns left over from two proms, both originally very nice, and one made by my mother. Maybe the grand-girls would want them. Books? Maybe we can sell them.  And scores of poetry magazines, many sporting my own work. Also, a sketch of a bunny which was to illustrate a story for children.  That book never made it, either. Plus, the outlines of other stories that were to go in the same book.  That book was to be titled, STORIES MY GRANDPA TOLD. That doggone publishing company kept that stuff for over a year, but never published it.


There was one serving plate from each of my grandmothers, and one  of my mothers, but I don't think too many young women hang those on their walls any more. These items are just from a few of the boxes we brought up from the garage.  Many more are still out there labeled, NOSTALGIA. Oh. my!


Is your life like this?  Everything that happens has to be recorded or saved for future generations?  Well,  my new philosophy----don't save anything.  No one will want that old junk.  They are busy saving their own junk!!  And what we learned from our lectures were for us.  They will be busy saving what they thought was so darned important.


I hope to be back writing about something else tomorrow.  Hope God gives me an idea or two!  And sure hope my "You've got to go through those boxes!" tape is over and I  can put this job to bed!


Yours while you go clean your attic..... with love and tenderness,
Jo INMN

UP, UP, AND AWAY

Much Afraid, now named Grace and Glory, and her handmaidens Joy and Peace, stayed on the High Places for several weeks and explored, learning many new lessons from the shepherd King. He encouraged them to explore on their own, too, for there were so many things to discover.  There were still Higher Places than where they were,  but only those who had finished their pilgrim life on earth were free to go there.  They could also look down on the valleys below to gain an understanding of the many things which had previously puzzled them.  But the first thing they realized up on the slopes was that there was even more to see and learn when they went further up.  What they could see now was but a small portion of what lay beyond.


And so our little Much Afraid realized she had a new viewpoint on life below as she saw it from the perspective of the Kingdom of Love. What she could see almost intoxicated her with joy and thanksgiving and sometimes even inexpressible relief.  Things which she had thought dark and terrible, which had made her tremble, now seemed alien to her from the Realm of Love, and just a part of a wonderful whole that has been altered and modified.  Even things written  in the Book of Books can be astonishingly misunderstood while one lives on the low levels of spiritual experience.  She knew, with astonishment, that no one who finds herself up on the slopes of the Kingdom of Love can possibly be absolute about what is seen, because one can only comprehend how small a part of the glorious whole can be seen.  It gave her a strong desire to go higher and to see and understand more.  Now she knew, truth comes from personal growth and development, and she remembered the prayer of the blind man, "May I receive my sight, that I might open myself up to even more light by fuller understanding.". The other thing which delighted Grace and Glory was the unbroken communion she had with the King.  Wherever he went she and Peace and Joy went, too, for he taught them by example. Our newly named Grace and Glory could hardly bear to cease from the joy of cavorting through the rocks, and rarely took a rest.  At one point, she looked up into the face of the Shepherd King and said, "My Lord, I cannot tell you how greatly I want to regard others in the same way that you have regarded me."  And a great smile broke out on his face.  But she continued, The other thing I learned up here is this.  Every circumstance in life, no matter how crooked and distorted and ugly it appears to be, if it is reacted to in love and forgiveness and obedience to your will, it can be transformed.  Therefore, I think, my Lord, that you may purposely allow us to be brought into contact with the bad and evil things that you want changed."  And thinking a bit, she added, "Perhaps that is the very reason why we are here in this world, so that we may let you teach us how to react to these things and that from them we can create lovely qualities that will help us to live the right way.  In other words, "Deal with evil, but overcome it with good."


Then came the most memorable part of her life on the mountain, for he said, "You have learned well.  But I must add one more thing for you to remember: as long as you are willing to be Acceptance with Joy and Bearing all in Love, you can never again become crippled, and you will be able to go wherever I lead you.  You will be able to go back to the Valley of the world to work with me there, for that is where the evil and sorrowful are and that is what is necessary to be overcome." And He rose and invited her to leap along behind him to a higher part of the mountain. ( The End)


I am sure, if I listed all the things which can be done here  on the lower part of the earth, you would not be surprised. And so, I leave it up to you and God. What can you do here on this wicked, yet wonderful earth to change it to be a good place to be?  Each of you will undoubtedly have a different answer.  Only one thing I know...there is a lot to be done.  Do you have a heart for children?  young mothers? our servicemen who have been so beaten even in victory?  the old? the infirm?  the ordinary, who keep their sorrows to themselves?  Perhaps you yourselves are in pain.  Seek to find others that have the same hurts and bind then up, working together. Small groups working together are great, too. We can always enjoy new friends!


Loving you,
Jo INMN

HEALING AND HIGH PLACES

There is much good in an allegorical story; there is much to remember and much to pray about. No allegory can duplicate exactly what our own Lord tells us.  What God wants of us,  primarily, is to want Him above all else and to follow Him in our lives.  If Much-Afraid helped us in any way to do that, I am glad. By tomorrow, the story HINDS FEET IN HIGH PLACES should be finished.  Our own stories, perhaps, just beginning. Let's see what is to happen to Much-Afraid next.


Much Afraid has just a wakened with the sun high in the sky.  She looked out through the mouth of a cave in which she found herself. She lay a little longer, collecting her thoughts, remembering.  She had come to a cloud-filled canyon high on the mountains and found an altar for sacrifice.  She had tried to rid herself of human love, but ultimately it was removed by some power other than herself.  She pulled a cloth aside which covered her, and saw no wound, not even a scar. She rose quietly and stood still, looking about her.  The canyon now shimmered in sunlight.  The grass, soft and richly green, grew everywhere, starred with gentians and other little flowerlets. Below her, she saw a long stone altar, and she guessed it was where she had lain.  Her heart leaped and thrilled with joy which was beyond her understanding and a peace, incredibly sweet, enfolded her.  She was quite alone.  There were no signs of her companions, Sorrow and Suffering.  The only things that breathed, beside herself, were the cheerful little birds that fluttered through the flowers and the cloudless sky. And there she stayed in peace for the long, quiet day.


Early on the morning of a soon to follow day, she woke.  It was still dark, but she sprang to her feet with a shock of joy.  She had not heard a voice, but she knew that she had been called by a mysterious, sweet summons, a summons she had been waiting for.  Yet all the sound she heard was the waterfall. Then again, she felt a tingling--a call from some high place and she looked eagerly around.  Her feet and legs began to tingle, as if they desired to go bounding  up the mountain, but she found no possible means of exit. Then, as she stood straining every nerve, up from a mossy bank sprang a mountain goat with his hind close behind.  The hart sprang on the altar rock, and from there leaped a projecting ledge of the wall on the farther side of the ravine.  Closely following was his hind.


Much-Afraid did not hesitate, but followed with a flying leap.  She reached the ledge and using the same footholds as the hart and the hind, she leapt and sprung in perfect ecstasy, following them up the cliff, the hooves of the deer ringing on the rocks before her like little silver hammers.  She skipped and jumped  from rock to rock excitedly as the first sunbeams streamed over the mountaintop.  And, at last, there He was, standing  on the peak, just as she had known he would be, strong and grand and glorious in the beauty of the sunrise, holding out both hands and calling to her with a great laugh,  "You--with the hinds' feet--jump over here!"


She gave one last flying spring, caught his hands and landed beside him on the top-most peak of the mountain.  Around them in every direction towered other and greater ranges of snow mountains whose summits soared into the sky higher than her sight could follow them.  He was crowned and dressed in royal robes just as she knew he would be.


Then he went on.  "Now for the flower of Love and the promise that when it blooms you will be loved in return." But Much Afraid, now being called Grace and Glory, spoke for the first time.  "My Lord and King," she said softly, "There is no flower of Love to bloom in my heart.  It was burned to ashes on the altar at your command." But he laughed gently and joyfully.  "That is strange.  How then did you get here?  You are on the High Places, in the Kingdom of Love.  Your heart will tell us what is there!" At His word she laid bare her heart and out came the sweetest perfume.  And there in her heart was a growing plant, covered all over with pure white, blooms. When she asked how it could have gotten there, the Lord replied, "Why, I planted it myself.  It is the flower from the thorn-shaped seed.  You had a desire for human love which was torn out of your heart; this love is lasting love, the real Love."  He bowed his head and she took his hands in hers,, her scarred hands which had sown the thorn-shaped seed in her heart, and the hands with the grasp of iron which had torn out the human love from her heart.  And He kissed her hands, the hands that He loved and had sacrificed so much for Him.   ( The story for today.)


This must seem strange, or stranger than ever. The allegory spells out what we each are asked to do.  Replace the need for wanting, whether it's human love like the movies show us, or love of being right, or important, or a winner.  Human needs way outnumber spiritual needs.  For if we have God in our hearts, trusting God, seeking God, knowing God, honoring God we don't need human attention.  Honoring God, (we shall see tomorrow) we will put ourselves second, before Him, and in that way honor and give to those in humankind, in God's name.


I hope you and I are getting it...Really getting it!
Jo INMN

FOR ALL THE THINGS YOU HAVE TAUGHT ME

I don't want to rush us through the book about Much-Afraid, for she gives us so much to learn, but I think it is time to try to encapsulate it somewhat.  No matter how far they get on toward the top of the mountain, in each step there is learning.  Much-Afraid has  come to the place where she is no longer expecting to be hurt by her enemies.  And, she begins to understand that sometimes we must go through pain that comes from those she has come to love.


She  truly has come to Love the Shepherd, and desires only to follow Him and obey Him, while at the same time learning who friends really are by knowing her two guides. And she has come to trust the Shepherd in a way she did not completely understand herself.  At one point during their meanderings upward, she began to listen to a Voice that she believed to be her Shepherd, and she determined to follow His commands even though she did not completely understand.  There was no fear, but only a determination to follow that Voice no matter what it asked of her. She had so recently come to the point that in that Voice there was much Love, and the  only way she could return that Love, was to obey the Voice, His Voice, the voice of her Beloved.  Even if He slay her, she would love Him.


And it wasn't long before she was led to a great chasm, and the Voice came again out of the silence, and said, "Much Afraid, take now the promise you received when I called you to follow me to the High Places. And take the natural longing for human love which you found growing in your heart  when I planted my own love there, and  go up into the mountains to the place that I shall show you. There you will be asked to part with your desire for human love and offer it as a burnt offering to me."  Much Afraid kept silent a long time, until finally her trembling voice spoke, "My Lord, am I understanding correctly?"  And he answered, "Yes."


So, she later found the rocky ledge just below the waterfall which leaped and rushed down onto the slopes below.  And all was shrouded in the mist. There she offered her old desire for human love, "I will do according to your word," with the fall thundering and her heart thundering, as well.  She went up to the Place and knelt.  "My Lord," she said softly, "Will you come to me now?"  But for the first time on her entire journey, there was no answer.  Her Shepherd did not come. She felt nothing but a great stillness in which there was only one desire remained, to do that which he had told her to do.  She put out her hand and with one final effort of strength grasped the natural human love and desire which had grown in her heart and struggled to tear it all out.  At the first touch it was as though anguish pierced through her every nerve.  She knew with a pang of despair that the roots had wound and twined and thrust themselves into every part of her being.  Though she put forth her remaining strength in the most desperate  effort to wrench them out, not a single rootlet stirred.


She repeated the glorious promise which the Shepherd had  taught her, "The Lord is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds' feet and he will make me to walk upon mine High Places."  And she felt a hand of steel and a sound of rending and tearing, and the human love and all its myriad roots came forth.  Not a bit was left behind.  And there came a flash of fire upon the altar and there was nothing left but ashes.  A sense of peace came upon her, and utterly exhausted, she fell asleep.
(More tomorrow.)


This story is truly beyond my human experience. The Lord I know would not ask that I not know human love, in fact, He sanctified it.  But otherwise, I think the allegory holds true. Perhaps the final gift of her desire for human love may be right for those who enter convents, for they do not marry.  Otherwise, the allegory fits any human, for if there is something in any one's heart which gets in the way of loving God, I am sure that would create harm in some way.  I personally believe that God wants to be first in my life, and in yours. So, let's see tomorrow how the Shepherd will use this "new born."


I am aware of many things God might want me to remove from my heart.  Best get going  on it!


Jo INMN

HOW MUCH DO YOU TRUST ME?

We have been in the throes of a young woman's trust issues for a while now, as she attempts to become a person of Love and Trust, rather than a person of Fear and Distrust. She has fought many battles, and her Shepherd has always come to her aid. But, now she is at the peak of decision making:  Does she  have the makings to continue fighting upward toward her reward?


She had just found that she was to learn the second letter of the Alphabet of Love, which she assumes starts with a B, as the A had been Ascent of Love, which she is now to practice  as she goes upward.  She is to be supported with ropes, on the one side by Sorrow, and on the other side by Suffering, who are now the best of guides and friends. And as she was about to leave, her Shepherd gave her a little bottle of a cordial, the Spirit of Grace and Comfort, for her to sip whenever she felt a little woozy.


  There was still two or three hours before darkness would fall, so the trio were to start at once.  "You cannot possible reach the top from here, but there is a cave farther up where you can spend the night.  It is not safe to stay here, as your enemies could steal upon you. I doubt that they will follow you, but I doubt not that you will meet them again when you reach the top." With that he smiled  in encouragement, and in a moment  or two, Sorrow put her foot upon the first step of the narrow little track which zigzagged up the face of the cliff, with Much-Afraid following.


She was much surprised and deeply thankful for the ropes which held her as she went up the steep, difficult, slippery, and painfully narrow slope. The cordial given to her by the Shepherd and sipped on occasion, kept her from feeling giddy when she peeked over the edge.  And a rainbow which had hung during the first half-hour had finally disappeared, but she felt it still hanging above them.


Just then, she looked down, and felt very thankful indeed that the Shepherd had charged them to start their ascent that same evening, because sitting on the rocks below were all five of her enemies, gazing up at her, their faces filled with fury and spite.  In fact, Self-Pity flung a sharp stone at her with all his might! But she was pulled gently forward by Sorrow, telling her it was safe to move.


So the three climbed even higher while the shadows thrown against the cliffs lengthened and the sun went down in a blaze of fire-like beauty.  They could plainly see now, the western sea. The track, running back and forth across the face of the cliff, went ever upward, and though it was crumbling or broken in some places, Much-Afraid was much encouraged, for even at a spot pointed out by Craven Fear as being insurmountable, she was tremendously relieved to find it not too difficult.


In another spot, just as darkness fell she found the path had broken away, with a plank laid across the gap and a rope placed through iron rings in the rock face to form a handrail.  Even with the hand-rail, she was very careful to not imagine herself falling. But, after crossing, she was pleasantly surprised to see the very resting place the Shepherd had spoken of. With a great sense of relief and thankfulness, she went inside.  Flat rocks had been placed to form rude seats and a table, and on the ground at one side were piled sheepskins on which they could rest. Not far from the entrance, a tiny waterfall trickled down the cliff and they hurried to refresh themselves.  Sorrow and Suffering produced two  packages of bread and dried fruits and nuts which satisfied their hunger, and then, overcome by weariness, they laid themselves down in the cave and fell into dreamless slumber. (Today's story.)


I remember, myself, a similar situation, but not as dangerous.  Almost two years ago, my husband and I believed it was time to move back to our Minnesota base, as three of our four children lived in MN.  It seemed very right, and our house sold right away, so we began to sort and pack, quite a job.  Our eldest daughter, Peggy, took time off from her nursing job and arrived in time to drive us back to MN.  We had not driven with her very much, and as I was not to drive, I took the back seat with our dog, Max. It should have been an easy trip with two good drivers, but my husband began to have double vision. Peggy, then, drove most of the trip, for which I was, indeed, grateful.  But I was myself too afraid to drive.  I am a perfectly adequate driver, but had not driven on highways for many years and I let my fears overtake me, and although our daughter did just great, I still feel sad that I did not give it a shot!  Fear is an awful culprit.  I should have had Hannah Hurnard's book with me at that time.  Maybe I  would still be driving. Yep!  I still don't drive as much as I could. Much Afraid lives in my heart, I think!


I am going to drive someplace, at least someplace nearby, maybe tomorrow!
Jo INMN

MY BELOVED IS STRONG, WITHOUT COMPARE

Yesterday, the Shepherd had answered, once again, to Much-Afraid's call.  He had been so cheerful, without a hint of reproach, that she felt strong and exhilarated. Thankfulness welled in her heart.  The Shepherd said, "Tell me, why were you so fearful." And Much-Afraid whispered, "The way looks so dreadful, so impossible.  I turn sick with fear when ever I look at it."  The Shepherd asked, "But, Much-Afraid, what did I promise you in the Valley of Humiliation?"   She was startled by his question; the blood rushing into her cheeks.  "You said you would make my feet like hinds' feet and set me upon the High Places." He answered kindly, "The only way to develop hinds' feet is to go by the paths which the hinds use--like this one." (remember, hinds are like goats) Much-Afraid trembled even more and looked ashamed. "Maybe, then, I don't want hinds' feet."


The shepherd surprised her because he didn't even look disappointed or disapproving. In fact, he actually laughed!  "Oh, yes you do," he cheerfully said. "I know you better than you know yourself.  You want those new feet, indeed, Much-Afraid. And I brought you to this back side of the desert on purpose where there are no paths but the tracks of the deer and mountain goats for you to follow, that the promise I made may be fulfilled.  What did I say the last time we met?"


"You said, 'Now you shall see what I will do,' " she answered. Then added, "But, I never dreamed you would do anything as preposterous as this!  This is simply....." As she fumbled for more words, she burst out laughing. "Why  it's crazy!"  Then, the Shepherd started laughing, too, saying , "I don't know anything more exhilarating and delightful than turning weakness into strength, and fear into faith, and that which has been marred into perfection.  If there is one thing I really like to do it's turning a  jellyfish into a mountain goat!  And that is my special work, Much-Afraid.  Well, we shall see later on what you find yourself transformed into. O.K.?"  And Much-Afraid believed.


At that moment, something wonderful happened.  A double rainbow appeared above the precipice, arching it completely. Much-Afraid gasped, then saw to her delight, Sorrow and Suffering, now  standing on either side of the arch, veiled and transformed with beauty, and she herself knelt at the foot of the precipice and once again built an altar, laying upon it her will, her dread, and her shrinking away. When the fire had fallen low she found among the ashes a larger, rougher stone, sharp-edged and dark of color.  This, too, went into her purse.  She rose to her feet and waited.


Again, the Shepherd spoke, "You are entering this new stage.  This precipice  is only the beginning and at the foot of Mt. Injury.  Everywhere else it is as steep or steeper than here.  More terrible precipices you would find on Mt. Hate and Mt. Persecution , but nowhere is it possible to find a way up to the High Places and into the Kingdom of Love, without surmounting at least one of them.  And it is this one which I have chosen for you."  He barely took a breath before he added, "On the way here you have been learning the lesson of Acceptance-with-joy, the first letter in the alphabet of Love.  Now, you must learn the B of the alphabet of Love.  You will learn it and practice it during this Ascent of Love.  Remember, that though you must now meet Injury and surmount it there is nothing on the way up this precipice nor indeed anything that you may meet above and beyond it that can do you the slightest harm or hurt, if you will learn and practice the second lesson in the  Ascent of Love."


And immediately Sorrow put her foot upon the first step of the narrow little track which zigzagged up the face of the cliff.  Much-Afraid followed next, and then Suffering, and in a moment or two they were  beginning the ascent. ( More tomorrow)


Our problems and difficulties look nothing like those of Much-Afraid, and perhaps you are thinking, "How can this help me?"  Well, as I see it, first, we become aware we have a big problem. We're terrified!  Who can help us?  Perhaps we speak with someone in our family--or more likely, someone on the bus!  But, then, we might turn to  prayer.  And we feel God has taken ahold of our problem.  but nothing gets better; in fact, it seems worse. But God, we find, is taking us through a few "situations" which lead only one direction.  We take it, but is it supposed to take so long?  Nothing looks any better for a while.  Maybe, eventually, we see what God's purpose really was, and it may be nothing like we had guessed.  But, the original problem has been taken care of...and the reason for it, also!  I think God works like that.  At least, He has in our lives at this house!


Have faith in your Shepherd and mine,
Jo INMN

AT THE GREAT PRECIPICE

(Cont. the story of Much-Afraid.  If you have just joined us, feel free to read the last few days of her adventures  in the previous blogs. Orig. story  by Hannah Hurnard called HINDS FEET ON HIGH PLACES.) For a little while Much-Afraid had a song in her heart, even as she left behind the fields and orchards which were so pleasant.  Hope had leapt up in her so it seemed not to matter that she  still had much to learn.  She felt certain that when she reached the High Places she would be given her "hinds feet."  Her present lameness had much improved, but still worried her that she might not have enough strength for the steeper routes through the mountains without the promised feet like the hinds who scamper along without effort.


The path continued to slope upward, but Sorrow and Suffering helped her swing upward, and it seemed just like fun.  As the sun rose higher and the glow faded from the sky, she saw that the highest peaks were covered with snow, white and dazzling.  And here the path they were following turned eastward and led directly toward the mountains.  Much-Afraid fell on her knees in thanks, worshiping the One who had brought her through the pain and the trials she had suffered on the long journey.


As they approached the mountains, Much-Afraid could not help being struck by the steepness of these new slopes, and the nearer they drew, the more impassable the walls and mountains appeared to be.  "Surely there will be a valley or gorge, or a pass up which we can proceed!"  But the steepness of the walls seemed impassable. In fact, later in the afternoon they did come to the top of the lower slopes and the path led them right up to the foot of an impassable precipice..and there stopped dead.  Much-Afraid just stood there and stared.  She was stunned.  The cliffs completely blocked the way before her, yet the path ran right up to them.  There, the hart and hind led the way across a narrow and intensely steep track which zigzagged across the face of the cliff. But, in certain places the track apparently broke right off. The hart and the hind leaped and sprang with grace and assurance up the face of the precipice and disappeared from sight over the top.


Much-Afraid covered her face with her hands, and sank with dread, her heart broken as she had never felt it before.  Her companions took her hands in theirs.  "Don't be afraid, Much- Afraid.  The hart and the hind have shown us quite  plainly what to do."  But, Much-Afraid would not be comforted.  "The path is impossible! I could ever make it up there!  It's impossible, simply impossible." Her two companions tried to speak again, but  she put her hands over her ears and broke into terrified sobs.  "I can't do it; I can't.  I shall never get to the High Places!"  Her actions were far from the royal person she had thought she was coming to be.


Completely exhausted, she heard a nasty sound, "Ha! Ha! My near little cousin, the mouse. Isn't this a delightfully pleasant situation?"  And it was Craven Fear himself, the one she had been slated to marry. He was the one she feared the most of all the Fear Family.  "And here we are, together again!  How is it I am not surprised?"  As he continued to gloat, and express their certain future back in the Fear Family, Much-Afraid gasped and replied, "I absolutely refuse to go with you."  And his retort?  "Well, you can take your choice. Won't you feel lovely and gracious up there?  See, half-way up?  There's a dizzy little ledge which breaks right off and you have to jump across the chasm on to that bit of rock.  Can you picture yourself jumping that!"


Her two guides stooped over her and shook her by the shoulder gently but firmly.  "You know where your help lies.  Call for help." "He will tell me that I must go that way, that dreadful way, and I can't .  It's impossible.  I can't face it.  What shall I do?" And they answered, "You must call for him."


Craven Fear laughed in triumph and took a step toward her.  Much-Afraid cried out in anguish. Seeing this, the two guides, Suffering and Sorrow looked at each other, and nodded. Suffering took a small but very sharp knife and bent over her as Much-Afraid crouched on the earth, and pricked her.  Much-Afraid cried out in anguish, and then, in utter despair at finding herself helpless, called upon the Shepherd.  "My fears have taken hold upon me, and I am ashamed to look up."  And He answered,  "Be of good cheer, it is I. Be not afraid." (End of today's reading)


"Be not afraid; it is I."  Oh!  How I have longed to hear those words said by the Lord Jesus, my own Shepherd. I guess I will have to wait until the day of judgment!  What is next best, is knowing He says it, even if I cannot hear the words!     "It is I,  Your Lord."


Have Patience, Jo!
Jo INMN

TROUBLES AND MORE FOR MUCH-AFRAID

For those of you who have been following Much-Afraid, I hate to tell you that her troubles just kept coming.  She was met  on the old Sea Wall with her challengers, but her companions held her hand and hope helped when she was met by her old enemy Bitterness. And once again, the Shepherd intervened. And she built another altar in remembrance.


Going on ahead, Much-Afraid and her companions saw a causeway by the sea, separating the sea from a well-wooded land of hills and valleys with cottages and farms, orchards and fields.  The sun was up, brilliant, and up on the wall she could feel the full force of the wind. It tore at her hair and clothes, nearly toppling her, but she shouted out, "My head shall be lifted up above my enemies; therefore I will sing praises to the Lord.  Yes, I will offer sacrifices of joy and will praise the Name of the Lord." (Psalm 27:6) And as she sang, she thought, "It must be perfectly dreadful to be an enemy of the Shepherd. Always, their prey would be snatched away!"  And, of course, she picked up another stone for her bag.


Spring was just bursting everywhere in the hills.  Between the trees there were glades of bluebells, anemones, violets, primroses growing in clumps along mossy banks.  And the birds sang, calling to one another, absorbed in nest-building. Everywhere she looked, winter had gone. Everything seemed to be saying, "The delay of winter to spring was not unto death but for the Glory of God."  And there was stirring in her own heart, the feeling so sweet, yet mixed with pain which made her wonder which predominated.  At one point, she saw a mass of leaves, and at the end of the stem a little swelling appeared, which could prove to be a bud, she thought.  Then, she wondered if there might be a bud of Love now in her own heart. A stab of fear went through her, "Would her bud ever become a blossom?" The thought made tears fall, once again.


She did not weep for long, for at once she caught sight of something else--a gleam of gold.  It was a golden replica of the little golden flower which she had found growing in the desert, just like the one she hoped would grow in her heart.  She made an altar and placed the little golden heart upon it. As it burned, it was as though a spark from its flame had entered her own heart, and was still glowing there,, warm and radiant. She picked up another stone for her bag from this very place, her heart full.


Going on their way, in a very short time they came to the edge of the wood and she felt a rush of joy, for who should be standing thee, waiting to meet them, but the Shepherd. She ran to him, joyous from head to toe and cried out, "Oh, welcome, Shepherd.  I am afraid there is nothing much to show you in my heart yet, but all there is, is yours to do with as you  please." The Shepherd spoke quickly, I have a message, 'You are to be ready, Much-Afraid, for something new.  'Now shalt thou see what I will do.'" "Am I going to the High Places," she asked in hopeful joy. "Yes," he said, with a strange smile.  For he knew her difficulties had only begun.  (End of today's section of Hannah Hurnard's story)


I am rather glad that we have normal pain and difficulties, and not Much-Afraid's problems. I do have the same enemies, but they are not named.  I have to name them myself, but after so many years it is not as difficult as it used to be. Pride and Envy?  Yes, I have known them.  And many of the others, too.  But sometimes each one wears a little bit different "hat" and it takes time to see them for themselves. Yes, they like to come in costume and parade around, until I smarten up and kick them out.


I hope you are having the best of days. God be with you, raining or shining.
Jo INMN

ON THE SHORES OF LONELINESS WITH MUCH-AFRAID

As a path  crossed the main track which they had been following, The Shepherd said quietly, "This is the path which you are now to follow."  So, they turned their backs  on the High Places, coming to the edge of the  desert, and found themselves on the shore of a great sea. Then the Shepherd said, "Now is the time for me to leave you, Much Afraid, and return to the mountains.  Remember, I can cross the desert sands swiftly as I can leap  from the high Places to the valleys, so whenever you should call to me I will hear.  Whenever you are willing to obey me, and are following the path of my choice, you will always be able to hear and recognize my voice, and when you hear it you must always obey.  Remember also that it is always safe to obey my voice, even if it seems to call you to  paths which look impossible or even crazy."  Then, he blessed her and went from them.


The three of them, Much Afraid with her two companions, walked along the shores of the great sea for many days, and at first it seemed to her that up until then she had never known real loneliness.  All of her old friends lived far away behind her.  The mountains were out of sight, and nothing in the whole wide world but the endless desert on one side and the endless sea moaning on the other.  Nothing grew there, not even grass.  Nothing lived but sea gulls crying overhead and crabs scuttling across the sand. Much-Afraid, during those days, never let go of the hands of her two companions and it forever amazed her how swiftly they helped her along.  It also surprised her that she could walk more upright than ever  before and with scarcely a limp. And even more surprising,, she realized the furnaces and grinding stones she had seen much earlier, somehow enabled her to accept the knowledge within herself that a gulf had opened between herself and her past life.  She did not quite understand how it happened.  She still did not feel like a  'Royal' and certainly did not as yet look it, nevertheless, she had been stamped with 'the mark', and would never be the same again. Therefore she did not go through her days with Sorrow and Suffering by her side cringingly or complaining.  Gradually, something impossible seemed to be happening.  She was finding a new kind of joy springing up in her heart, and she found herself noticing beauty in the landscape around her, earlier not so beautiful.  And she found herself laughing at the crabs scuttling by.  Even the sea became a thing of beauty with the light gleaming on the curve of green breakers and the foaming spray under a horizon blue as a midnight sky. And she remembered something else she had learned, "When he has tried me, I shall come forth as gold.  Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning."


One day, resting on the shore with high cliffs above and great rocks scattered about, Much-Afraid found herself looking down into a lonely little cove completely closed on three sides by the cliffs and nothing  in it but driftwood and stranded seaweed.  She thought it looked lonely in its emptiness. Before they left their resting place, she looked at the cove again.  It was now filled with great waves roaring and laughing, pouring themselves through the narrow inlet and leaping against the sides, taking possession of every empty niche and crevice. And it was there that Much-Afraid built her third altar.  "O my Lord," she cried, "I thank you for leading me her.  Behold me empty as was this little cove but waiting your time to be filled to the brim with the flood-tide of Love."  She picked up a little piece of quartz and crystal  which had laid on the cliffside and dropped it among the other memorial stones she carried in her little bag.


Meanwhile, Pride and the rest of the Fear Family had not given up, and sent out spies who brought back news that Much-Afraid was on the shores of the Sea of Loneliness, a different direction once again.  It was decided that Resentment, Bitterness, and Self-Pity (with Pride following in case they should make a mistake) should hurry off and bring back Much-Afraid. But this time, their taunts and horrid suggestions had less effect.  But, Self-Pity threw one last remark.  "It really seems as though the one you follow takes delight in making you suffer and leaving you to be misunderstood, for every time you yield to him he thinks up some new way of wounding and bruising you." That was a mistake!  Much-Afraid, remembering the importance of accepting our "bruising" just as corn is bruised in the making of bread, she actually picked up a piece of rock and hurled it right at the head of Self-Pity much to his dismayed astonishment.


Yet, it is exhausting to be assaulted day by day with nasty suggestions.  So, one day when her women companions were sleeping she wandered off alone for a while.  When she reached the end of her promontory, she stood there and looked out to sea in wonder, but after a moment realized her four enemies were slowly approaching.  Putting her back to a great rock, she prepared to resist them to the limit of her strength, the place too narrow for all four to approach together.  But Pride, putting himself in front stepped toward her holding a strong cudgel.


Much-Afraid lifted her  face to the empty sky and with all her strength called out to the Lord!  "Come, My Lord, and make no tarrying."  And to the horror of the four ruffians, there was the Shepherd himself.  The first three threw themselves to the ground and edged away.  But Pride had just seized a hold on Much-Afraid. Then, catching him by the shoulders, the Shepherd spun Pride around lifting him in the air, where he uttered a loud shriek, and then dropped him over the edge of the cliff into the sea.


Much-Afraid asked the Shepherd why she couldn't get away from them without his help, as it was troubling to her.  His answer was clear.  "I think, that lately the way seemed a little easier for you.  And the sun shone and you could finally rest.  You just forgot for a while that you were still my little handmaiden, Acceptance-with-Joy, and thought you were ready to  go up to the High Places.  When you wear the weed of impatience, you will always find your enemies get an advantage over you."


Her voice, suddenly very weak, said, "Oh."  And she blushed, saying, "You choose, my Shepherd, and it is my joy to hear and follow." The Shepherd, smiling, gave her another stone to put into her memorial bag, a remembrance of the day Pride took a fall. (More tomorrow, God willing!)


I hope you are enjoying this story of Much-Afraid.  I am enjoying writing the synopsis of the story.  Thank you, Hannah Hurnard, for the original, probably still available at a Christian bookstore.


Watch out for Pride; he's a bad one!
Jo INMN

THROUGH THE DESERT WITH MUCH-AFRAID

After dealing  with Pride, Much-Afraid and her companions went  on their way.  Although Much-Afraid hobbled painfully, she was pleased to accept the help from her good guides. As the days wore on, the path turned a corner and before her was a great desert spread before them. There seemed to be nothing but an endless expanse of sand dunes, without a tree in sight. The only objects breaking the monotony of the desert were strange, towering pyramids rising above the dunes, hoary with age and grim with desolation. Immediately, fear arose in Much-Afraid. "I  can't go down there.  He can't mean that! Never!  He called me up..to the High Places!  This place is all wrong!"  And she lifted her voice and called desperately, "Shepherd!  Help! Oh! Please come and help me!"  And in a moment He was there.


Much-Afraid explained that she could not understand this contradiction; wasn't she supposed to go UP Higher? But, he was patient and explained how this way was the path, and all who go the High Places must first go through the desert. She argued, still upset; "But it contradicts all that you promised!" and there was a sob of anguish.  The Shepherd bowed his head, and he answered very quietly, "Much Afraid, do you love me enough to accept the postponement and what looks like a contradiction of my promise, and go down there with me into the desert?" She looked up through her tears, caught his hand in hers and, trembling, said,  "I do love you, you know that.  I can't help my tears, so I will go down with you, right away, if you really wish it, for you have the right to choose for me anything that you  please."


It was very early morning; a crescent moon and the morning star shone like a jewel in the sky.  Much-Afraid built her first altar  on the mountains, a little pile of broken rocks.  Then with the Shepherd standing beside her, she laid down on the altar her rebelling will. First, there was a burst of flame, then a heap of ashes, but as she looked closer, she saw among the ashes a little stone of some kind.  And the Shepherd said, "Pick it up and take it with you, and it will be a memorial for all the stone and the altar stands for, the release of your rebellion."


As they continued on, the path became very steep, and Much-Afraid leaned on the Shepherd.  Here they learned of the others long ago that had come this way.  Abraham himself and his wife, along with a great host of others, like Joseph, the betrayed and wounded brother sold into slavery, and any number stretched out across the desert. The last one in line took Much-Afraid's hand and she became part of the great chain.  The Shepherd explained,  "An endless succession of my people have come this way and have learned the secret of royalty, and now you have come, too.  It is a great privilege to become one of the princesses of the Royal Line, Much-Afraid."


They turned back to the huts to rest that night  And in the morning. the Shepherd took Much-Afraid to an open space where there were great piles of grain. Women sat on the ground, grinding the grains to a powder.  As they watched, Much Afraid noticed how the grains were first beaten and bruised until they crumbled to pieces, but still the grinding and beating process continued.  So, the shepherd showed her how the different types of grains were ground with a different implement. And Much-Afraid noticed how long a time the grinding took for each of the types of grain.  And the Shepherd said, "I bring my people here so that they, too, may be threshed and ground into the finest powder and may become the best goods possible for working  in counsel and other works."


From there, they went to a potter who fashioned his clay into many beautiful shapes and objects.  Always the clay lay still upon the wheel, submitting to his every touch, perfectly, unresisting. And the Shepherd said, I too, fashion my fairest and finest vessels and bring forth instruments for my work, as I see fit."  Then he smiled, "Cannot I do with you, Much-Afraid, as this potter?  Behold as the clay is in the hand of the potter so are you in my hand." (Jer.18)


Last of all he took her up the stairway to the highest floor and there was a room with a furnace, where rough pieces of stone and rock were left for a time and gold covered in its dross, also.  These things were put into the great heat of the oven and left for a time.  On being taken out, they flashed and were glorious as though they had received the fire into their very hearts.  And it was here the Shepherd said the loveliest thing of all,"You who are afflicted and not comforted, behold, I will lay these stones with fair colors  and lay your foundations, too, in a fire and you will be my rarest and choicest jewels and my finest gold, refined in the furnace of Egypt."  And Much-Afraid thought of all the things which she had seen and received while in the desert, and said, "Shepherd, I am your handmaiden, called Acceptance-with-Joy."  Then, she stooped and picked up a pebble which lay in the sand and put it in her purse with her first altar stone. (End of today's portion of Much-Afraid's story)


This part of the story is my favorite.  All of the things  in my life that have been "talked about" and considered as "needing change" are slowly going through those changes.  I may have to live a very long time to make all of the changes necessary, but I am learning to be patient on the one hand and very grateful on the other. God has been very good to me and yet, I know it his recommendation that I continue to hang in there!


Do you notice changes God has made?  Hope so!


Jo INMN