We have been in the throes of a young woman's trust issues for a while now, as she attempts to become a person of Love and Trust, rather than a person of Fear and Distrust. She has fought many battles, and her Shepherd has always come to her aid. But, now she is at the peak of decision making: Does she have the makings to continue fighting upward toward her reward?
She had just found that she was to learn the second letter of the Alphabet of Love, which she assumes starts with a B, as the A had been Ascent of Love, which she is now to practice as she goes upward. She is to be supported with ropes, on the one side by Sorrow, and on the other side by Suffering, who are now the best of guides and friends. And as she was about to leave, her Shepherd gave her a little bottle of a cordial, the Spirit of Grace and Comfort, for her to sip whenever she felt a little woozy.
There was still two or three hours before darkness would fall, so the trio were to start at once. "You cannot possible reach the top from here, but there is a cave farther up where you can spend the night. It is not safe to stay here, as your enemies could steal upon you. I doubt that they will follow you, but I doubt not that you will meet them again when you reach the top." With that he smiled in encouragement, and in a moment or two, Sorrow put her foot upon the first step of the narrow little track which zigzagged up the face of the cliff, with Much-Afraid following.
She was much surprised and deeply thankful for the ropes which held her as she went up the steep, difficult, slippery, and painfully narrow slope. The cordial given to her by the Shepherd and sipped on occasion, kept her from feeling giddy when she peeked over the edge. And a rainbow which had hung during the first half-hour had finally disappeared, but she felt it still hanging above them.
Just then, she looked down, and felt very thankful indeed that the Shepherd had charged them to start their ascent that same evening, because sitting on the rocks below were all five of her enemies, gazing up at her, their faces filled with fury and spite. In fact, Self-Pity flung a sharp stone at her with all his might! But she was pulled gently forward by Sorrow, telling her it was safe to move.
So the three climbed even higher while the shadows thrown against the cliffs lengthened and the sun went down in a blaze of fire-like beauty. They could plainly see now, the western sea. The track, running back and forth across the face of the cliff, went ever upward, and though it was crumbling or broken in some places, Much-Afraid was much encouraged, for even at a spot pointed out by Craven Fear as being insurmountable, she was tremendously relieved to find it not too difficult.
In another spot, just as darkness fell she found the path had broken away, with a plank laid across the gap and a rope placed through iron rings in the rock face to form a handrail. Even with the hand-rail, she was very careful to not imagine herself falling. But, after crossing, she was pleasantly surprised to see the very resting place the Shepherd had spoken of. With a great sense of relief and thankfulness, she went inside. Flat rocks had been placed to form rude seats and a table, and on the ground at one side were piled sheepskins on which they could rest. Not far from the entrance, a tiny waterfall trickled down the cliff and they hurried to refresh themselves. Sorrow and Suffering produced two packages of bread and dried fruits and nuts which satisfied their hunger, and then, overcome by weariness, they laid themselves down in the cave and fell into dreamless slumber. (Today's story.)
I remember, myself, a similar situation, but not as dangerous. Almost two years ago, my husband and I believed it was time to move back to our Minnesota base, as three of our four children lived in MN. It seemed very right, and our house sold right away, so we began to sort and pack, quite a job. Our eldest daughter, Peggy, took time off from her nursing job and arrived in time to drive us back to MN. We had not driven with her very much, and as I was not to drive, I took the back seat with our dog, Max. It should have been an easy trip with two good drivers, but my husband began to have double vision. Peggy, then, drove most of the trip, for which I was, indeed, grateful. But I was myself too afraid to drive. I am a perfectly adequate driver, but had not driven on highways for many years and I let my fears overtake me, and although our daughter did just great, I still feel sad that I did not give it a shot! Fear is an awful culprit. I should have had Hannah Hurnard's book with me at that time. Maybe I would still be driving. Yep! I still don't drive as much as I could. Much Afraid lives in my heart, I think!
I am going to drive someplace, at least someplace nearby, maybe tomorrow!
Jo INMN
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