I don't want to rush us through the book about Much-Afraid, for she gives us so much to learn, but I think it is time to try to encapsulate it somewhat. No matter how far they get on toward the top of the mountain, in each step there is learning. Much-Afraid has come to the place where she is no longer expecting to be hurt by her enemies. And, she begins to understand that sometimes we must go through pain that comes from those she has come to love.
She truly has come to Love the Shepherd, and desires only to follow Him and obey Him, while at the same time learning who friends really are by knowing her two guides. And she has come to trust the Shepherd in a way she did not completely understand herself. At one point during their meanderings upward, she began to listen to a Voice that she believed to be her Shepherd, and she determined to follow His commands even though she did not completely understand. There was no fear, but only a determination to follow that Voice no matter what it asked of her. She had so recently come to the point that in that Voice there was much Love, and the only way she could return that Love, was to obey the Voice, His Voice, the voice of her Beloved. Even if He slay her, she would love Him.
And it wasn't long before she was led to a great chasm, and the Voice came again out of the silence, and said, "Much Afraid, take now the promise you received when I called you to follow me to the High Places. And take the natural longing for human love which you found growing in your heart when I planted my own love there, and go up into the mountains to the place that I shall show you. There you will be asked to part with your desire for human love and offer it as a burnt offering to me." Much Afraid kept silent a long time, until finally her trembling voice spoke, "My Lord, am I understanding correctly?" And he answered, "Yes."
So, she later found the rocky ledge just below the waterfall which leaped and rushed down onto the slopes below. And all was shrouded in the mist. There she offered her old desire for human love, "I will do according to your word," with the fall thundering and her heart thundering, as well. She went up to the Place and knelt. "My Lord," she said softly, "Will you come to me now?" But for the first time on her entire journey, there was no answer. Her Shepherd did not come. She felt nothing but a great stillness in which there was only one desire remained, to do that which he had told her to do. She put out her hand and with one final effort of strength grasped the natural human love and desire which had grown in her heart and struggled to tear it all out. At the first touch it was as though anguish pierced through her every nerve. She knew with a pang of despair that the roots had wound and twined and thrust themselves into every part of her being. Though she put forth her remaining strength in the most desperate effort to wrench them out, not a single rootlet stirred.
She repeated the glorious promise which the Shepherd had taught her, "The Lord is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds' feet and he will make me to walk upon mine High Places." And she felt a hand of steel and a sound of rending and tearing, and the human love and all its myriad roots came forth. Not a bit was left behind. And there came a flash of fire upon the altar and there was nothing left but ashes. A sense of peace came upon her, and utterly exhausted, she fell asleep.
(More tomorrow.)
This story is truly beyond my human experience. The Lord I know would not ask that I not know human love, in fact, He sanctified it. But otherwise, I think the allegory holds true. Perhaps the final gift of her desire for human love may be right for those who enter convents, for they do not marry. Otherwise, the allegory fits any human, for if there is something in any one's heart which gets in the way of loving God, I am sure that would create harm in some way. I personally believe that God wants to be first in my life, and in yours. So, let's see tomorrow how the Shepherd will use this "new born."
I am aware of many things God might want me to remove from my heart. Best get going on it!
Jo INMN
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