In Gal 2:19b,20 we read, "I have been crucified by Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God who loves me and gave himself for me."
I love this verse! I taught myself this verse for a Cursillo many, many years ago by putting it to music and singing it over and over as I drove, as I worked, etc. I wanted to learn this verse because it described the person I wanted to be. It did not describe the person I was.
I see in retrospect that one doesn't die to self all at once; it is a process for a lifetime. One dies to oneself just a bit at a time as one surrenders his or her will to God here a bit and there a bit more. As God reveals things to us that need to go, and as we are willing, we can let them go. Being willing is the hard part; our words may say it, but the cussed will stubbornly refuses to go completely. Through my entire lifetime, God has made some progress with my will, but sadly, I cannot say, "I've licked it!"
God, continue please, if you will, to help me to die from my sins, especially the tricky anger and hurt feelings when I under-achieve and am reminded of my failings by another. Whatever its birthing, help me to accept my failings and plod on trying to do better. For you died for my sins, and whatever sin I am reminded of and suffer its anger, help me both to remember and see clearly the Cross, where the God who loves me already suffered and died for that very sin. I can, then, forgive myself and the person who reminded me of my sin, and find a way to still be a friend to that very person. Perhaps, we can find that Cross and treasure that Cross together.
Never without sin completely,
Jo INMN
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